This might be too funny I don't even know why I'm so excited to do this. To write a letter for my future self if she happens to remember that this blog even exist. You made it, till today. I know a lot of shit had happened but you're still here, breathing, striving, and living. I know you have a lot of regret and that is okay, it is okay to feel sad but it is not okay to let yourself constantly fell into sadness pit. You got this okay!

 You finished your diplomaaaa!

It might be hard not able to finished off your diploma with your friends by your side. I know it is not what we want. Who would have thought that covid would happened and ruined your diploma plan? But regardless it is, I know you would make it right. You'll make it alive. Don't give up with yourself yet. You, you can handle this. We both know degree will be a hell especially if we still proceed with this ODL shit. 

But then, I know you're strong enough already. Strong enough to handle this hellish live. You must have feel sad aaaa lot.  I know. It's a lie that we told myself that we're strong enough. Physically yes, but mentally we're a timebomb. Just waiting the right time to explode and maybe try to not get ourselves killed during that.  I hope you're still friends with them, you know the girls. All of them, I wish. Dani and Haffizi might fell out a bit during the journey but I really hope not. For some reason I really wished that we will all be friends until the end. We don't really make a lot of friends you know, you might as well want to keep a few of them. 

I hope by now I already decided what I want to pursue for my degree. I still could not find what my happiness is. I don't know how others are easy to decide but I really doesn't want to gamble my future for this but I hope you did finally find what you wanted to do. This is a shitty life, we could not graduate on time. And most likely there goes my plan to get scholarships! Oh I hope you did get a scholarship, we need to figure out how to get you a scholarships. Cant let you living off PTPTN until the end of your life right? If scholarships is out of option, promise me you'll get a convertible loans not a PTPTN. God damn istg I regret it so much until now. Oh, I also hope that you have a driving license already by now. Perhaps already driving on the road too in the mean time. Jangan takut! Ai kuat ai boleh! Okay enough rant, I wish you're happy  by now. Get bunch of happy memories okay? Do it in degree! You need to. Get bunch of pictures of your friends, the building, the view, the everything!